The Paranoia Starts to Take Hold, and Our New National Past time, TIGER KING!!!

Brief rant about Donald Trump. Jesus Fucking Christ, FUCK THIS GUY!!!!!!!! Between the incompetence, the constant lies, wanting to withhold medical supplies to states who have been critical of him, trying to appeal the court ruling that will not allow him to make cuts to food stamps in the time of a pandemic, and urging people to go to work long before the apex even hits us……to use the parlance of the street, ” I can’t even.”

I hate him so much and just cannot believe people still enthusiastically support him, and that his fucking cronies in DC refuse to stand up to him or do the right thing. Clearly they are choosing money and ego over lives, and that is just unfathomable to me. Obviously I hope they all get the virus, and I don’t even say that lightly.

Maybe I need to just stop following the news. The past couple of days it has just been so depressing. NYC is really starting to kick into gear with sick people and the hospitals are already starting to get overwhelmed. I cannot even imagine being a healthcare worker right now. I imagine many of them will have PTSD from this for years to come. It’s crazy to see that they are building temporary morgues out of refrigerated trucks. Shit is getting real, and it has only just begun.

The mood seems to have changed to more of a paranoia now. I thought it was just me, but it isn’t.

Up until early this week, I was still kind of enjoying my short trips to the store or bodega, but now I kind of worry about them. I’m used to going to the store to feed my specific cravings, but now I’m limiting that and trying to just clean out what I already have rather than go to the store. I have heard that in times of quarantine, people can get agoraphobia, and I can almost see that. You get conditioned to staying inside and then when you go out there the thought of it sounds daunting. I was listening to my neighbor over the fence talking to someone on the phone and he was like “Yeah, I guess tomorrow I’ll put my outside clothes on and go to the store. I’m a little anxious about it”. I did go on a run to the bodega tonight and decided to take a lap around the park just to see what was going on. Still a good number of people out, but the number of masks was surprising to me, and aside from the 12 idiots playing basketball, people seemed to be pretty aware of distancing.

The one unusual thing I did notice on my short walk is that Friday night is when you take your garbage to the curb. Normally, in front of every building there are at least ten bags piled up. Today there were only about three bags per building, neatly stacked. The garbage enclosures, which are generally filthy, were all totally clean and free of debris. I am guessing that there is just less trash because people aren’t out buying all kinds of random shit and discarding packaging? I was surprised though. In a way I expected more trash because everyone is eating at home. But I guess less take out, and less general consumption in general. In any case, I really hope this kind of starves the rats out and slims their population. Wishful thinking, I know, but one can hope.

I read Gothamist daily now because even though they are usually just recycled news, they are currently doing a decent job of covering the virus. A lot of the comments now are people wondering if their flu/cold from a month or two ago was the virus. Everyone seems very curious to get the antibody test to see if they got it unknowingly at some point. I wonder too. I don’t think I did, but it IS possible, and if I had access to a test like that I’d want to see for sure, because I’m not 100% certain.

Apparently my co-worker has the virus. Luckily she is young so I am guessing she will be fine, but I guess she is pretty sick. Since I have been working from home for two weeks I don’t think I was exposed. But then there is the question – when I was getting those hot flashes and stuff, what if that actually was a fever and maybe I exposed her? I HIGHLY doubt that, but since there are no tests available who knows who has what?

A notification came in on the citizen app tonight that a car down the street crashed and was upside down with a person trapped. Video soon appeared, which showed a bunch of onlookers gathering on the street. The comments are usually pretty much what you would expect, but this time almost ALL of them were along the lines of ‘wtf? Stay home people, what are you fucking doing? Do you want to be quarantined until October???’ So, that was reassuring.

Tonight I also heard some gunshots. Haven’t heard those around here in almost ten years, so that is a bit disturbing. I hope it doesn’t become the norm, but I fear it might.

And lastly. TIGER KING. Oh man, it’s like the Reservoir Dogs of trash. It’s glorious. It’s just as good as everyone says, and what our country needs to truly heal. It’s also so weird to me when filmmakers start following people around documenting them years ahead of time without having any idea that in the end it’s going to be this crazy jackpot story. There is another documentary that I had the same thoughts about, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. Anyway, Tiger King. Must see Netflix.

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