2021 Off To a Completely Shitty Start

There are some people that read this that know me in real life and know, or at least have an idea of what happened, but decided I would write it here just to satisfy the curiosity I know some people still have. I had originally been keeping it vague because it is not my story to tell, but since then the people that need to know now know, and it just is.

My brother called me on January 22nd to tell me that his wife had passed away. She was 43 years old. It happened quite suddenly – they were sitting around watching TV and she suddenly felt dizzy and pukey, with arm pain. She told him she thought they should call an ambulance. My brother did so, and tried to make her as comfortable as possible – got her a bucket and a cold rag, while standing in the door waiting to flag the ambulance down. By the time they arrived, she was already in really bad shape. Somewhere in the flurry of medic activity her heart stopped before the ambulance ever even left the driveway. She was officially pronounced at the hospital. They had tried to revive her up until then, but were unable to…Official cause was blood clot in the heart or lungs.

God…..I can’t tell you the surprise when I got the call, and I cannot imagine what my brother is going through.

He and Miranda had one of those marriages that anyone would envy. They truly did marry their best friend, did everything together, and rarely fought – especially about the big stuff. After 15 years together, they really seemed even closer than ever. They were definitely all in, for life. She had finally gotten to a really great place in her career. She got hired at OSU too, and they were stoked they could commute to work together. She was getting the recognition she deserved, and they had recently bought their dream home. Apparently when Miranda saw the house listed, she cried it was so perfect. And it wasn’t just perfect for her – she was eyeing the master bedroom and yard for gardening – but it had a huge garage and giant room for my brother’s “man cave”.

I went to Oregon to be with my brother, and even though she wasn’t there, I feel like I learned so much more about her. I knew she was smart and pretty and funny, but I had no idea just how hard she really did work. Ex colleagues wrote notices to be distributed and are apparently considering naming an office after her. (and she doesn’t even work there anymore!!!!) Apparently she was the QUEEN of spreadsheets, which I think is funny. There was a constant stream of people dropping by food and baskets. It was particularly hilarious when they would do the old ‘drop and run’ – put the basket on the doorstep and either ring the bell or just let the dog announce it and tear off into the distance. There were so many nice cards from people my brother doesn’t even know with long messages of support. That woman was well loved and admired.

I am not sure how my brother will get through this. He was very well put together considering, and seems to be on the right track, but it’s also just so shocking and unbelievable that it feels like she is just on vacation or something. It doesn’t feel like reality yet. (I mean – I am sure for him it is a LOT more real, but I don’t think the hardest part has hit yet). I am thankful that he (they) have really awesome friends that will help to get him through this….

I am glad she got to see Donald Trump be defeated. I am sure that was extremely important to her. I am glad that she and my brother talked about everything on earth and that he knew to some degree what she wanted done as far as burial/creamtion, etc.

Mostly, I am happy for this – Myself included, several people mentioned how much it sucked that she had to go in a pandemic. Such a weird time, etc (and that DID make the mourning process a little weirder when you want to bring people together in remembrance), but my brother said :

“I was thinking about that, and I’m actually kind of glad. I got almost a year of her all to myself without many distractions.”

RIP Miranda. You clearly made a mark on this world, and to say you will not be forgotten is a huge understatement.

One thought on “2021 Off To a Completely Shitty Start

  1. Beautifully written. I had lunch with them once when they came through Vegas and felt their happiness together was admirable and enviable.


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